Then I watched the documentary Babies, and I care again. So much.
Where to start, where to start. Let's start with this, actually:
http://nymag.com/daily/fashion/2011/02/video_rachel_zoes_bump_exposed.html
This is a video for Elle of Rach and RoDge romping around on a bed because this is what pregnant couples do every day while expecting. Here's my one question though: Where is the pregnant woman? I see the skin, I see that her Givenchy pajamas are unbuttoned to reveal...what, now, unbuttoned Givenchy pajamas, what are you trying to reveal to us viewers? Where is the baby bump? Rachel Zoe is evidently seven months pregnant. Or eight now, since it is February. That is so pregnant! I really don't see anything! I see what might be a stomach that, as WWD put it, harbors a large lunch. Or perhaps drank a lot of carbonated drinks right before this photoshoot. Or is inhaling deeply. Really, Rach, I think even Victoria Beckham and Christine Taylor gained more belly than you did:
Victoria Beckham (at left, preggs)
Christine Taylor, also preggs at left. I don't know what the comparison pic is for.Also, look what I found during that Google search:
AMAZING! I forgot about these Armani ads! They are going to have sex with all of us.Speaking of sex, as many of "you readers" may know, I am afraid of two things: death and pregnancy. Makes sense since I am so generally bipolar. I can see lots of women being afraid of getting pregnant, hence why the Pill and other contraception in general were invented and why they sell. All out of fear. No one really wants a baby, right? You want something cute, and you like to play with other people's babies, but really, a baby is forever. I tend to say that the only circumstances under which I would have a baby is to save a crumbling marriage. But I am in fact so terrified of becoming pregnant that it is irrational. I have the flu - could I have caught The Pregnancy too?! I'm a little bloated today - better buy a pregnancy test! I had the stomach flu a couple of weeks ago and still wasn't feeling so great so I went to the doctor. I told him that I threw up while sick, which was strange because I haven't thrown up in over a decade. "Is there any chance that you could be pregnant?" he asked. There is Absolutely. No. Chance. In. Hell. that I could be pregnant unless I contracted it from a toilet seat or something. And yet, as I say "No..." it turns into a "NoooooooOOOOHHH??????" Dr. knew better, though, that 99% of the time my stomach is going to be fucked up due to anxiety and the other 1% to an ulcer, which I evidently have, not a baby. Where I am going with this is that people who are as deathly afraid as I am to get pregnant can have a hysterical pregnancy. People that really want to become pregnant but are having difficulty conceiving can also experience a hysterical pregnancy. Funny. In both cases, the patient believes she is pregnant, no matter what: despite gynecology appointments, ultrasounds, weight loss, etc. Sometimes doctors will have to perform a mock delivery in order to "cure" the patient, in addition to giving her a shot of something that makes the bloating go down (the physical effects of pregnancy can and usually do occur during a hysterical pregnancy, hence the patient's strong disbelief that she is actually not pregnant).
We all saw Rachel at the end of Season 3 - RoDger kept pestering her to have that child and she was totally on the fence about it! It would change her whole career, she's 39, she's anorexic, etc etc! Is this a phantom pregnancy that's all going to go away next month? No, the reality of it is that the tabloids would have already headlined this if it were true. The sick, sad truth is that this baby is going to be the size of an apple when it's born because Rachel is not eating for two.
Here are an amalgam of photographs, in random assortment:
I mean, still so glam though. I feel bad for her. She obviously was not mentally in a position to be pregnant because she cannot yet eat properly for herself, even. Who are her doctors?
Ahhhhh I just love Joey so much! Love Rachel and her boyz. They are going to be such great dads.
RoDge is more pregnant than Rachel is in this picture. I can't see as many breast bones on her, at least.
I mean, it's a pregnancy gesture.
The bumpiest she has been.
Baby toys - it's happening.
Can't tell what she's eating. Toast and iced tea? Whatever, it's calories.
Heather and I were discussing (yes, discussing, as in making this part of our conversation) what RoDge and Rachel would be like as parents. Based on this picture, really good ones. I truly believe they are in love - he likes men and she's a tranny, and they are college sweethearts. They also look really good here.
See Rach, your life won't change all that much. This is making me feel better even though I am not allowed to have children of my own. Mainly because I would put all of them in ballet at age three and not let them do anything else. I would live vicariously threw my little prima ballerinas. So creepy!Speaking of, next entry: Zoe's competition.
It's. On.
